我們希望孩子多作嘗試，所以教他們不要害怕犯錯。我們也常說，錯誤是成功的第一步。
      既然錯誤是正面的，為什麼犯錯大家都不肯承認？很多人犯錯除了努力掩飾外，更把責任推在別人身上。
      原因很簡單，因為犯錯通常都有後果，而這些後果通常都不容易接受，包括失掉晉升機會或者甚至被開除。而孩子犯錯就會被罰。

      逃避認錯
      Alina Tugend的Better By Mistake: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Wrong，探討的就是我們對錯誤的矛盾態度。
      她說我們教孩子的一套和現實世界之間有衝突：
      (There is) an inherent tension(內在的張力) between what we are taught as young children - that we must make mistakes in order to learn from them - versus the reality that we often get punished for making mistakes and therefore try to avoid, or cover them up, as much as possible.
      Mistake evasion(逃避認錯)在美國造成很多問題。她說大部分美國人差不多一出生便學會mistake evasion，死不認錯也成為美國文化的一部分︰
      Most Americans absorb a culture of mistake evasion virtually from birth.

      有錯不認代價很大︰
      By avoiding errors, we stifle creativity, innovation and the ability to grow and learn in all walks of life. In an effort to deflect blame, we point fingers at our colleagues, our friends, our spouses and our children.
      Stifle是扼殺。不認錯的後果是扼殺創意、發明，及從多方面學習和成長的能力。Deflect解使轉向，為了deflect blame(逃避受譴責)，就會把責任推給同事、朋友、甚至是家人或孩子。

      接受錯誤
      改變這種態度須下工夫。但勇於認錯，接受後果和責任會開出一片新的天地：
      And in doing so, we'll learn how to leave behind the defensiveness(自保的態度) and accusations(指控) that too often accompany errors and experiences of failure. We can be more willing to embrace(真心接受) risks and work creatively. We can feel good about the process, not just about the result.
      要懂得接受錯誤，首先須接受一個現實，就是沒有人是完美的，也不應以達到完美為目標。
      這種想法令我們重視過程而非結果，在對待孩子時也一樣，應該讚賞他們的努力︰"We need to emphasize effort and deemphasize results."
      We can appreciate that we - and they - can't be perfect, nor is it a goal we should aim for. And we should be careful of sending the contradictory(矛盾的) message that it's all right to make mistakes but not where it counts.
      別要一方面教他們勇於犯錯，但他們努力後的成績未及我們的要求就責備他們。

      文︰子慧