情緒商數是成功的重要元素，所以我們都希望訓練孩子掌控情緒，特別是憤怒或嫉妒等負面情緒。但如果情緒這麼麻煩，那是否最好是練到沒有七情六慾？
常人當然不能做到這個境界，但做得到也不一定是好事。因為就算是負面情緒也有正面功用。
What purpose might emotion serve? Like other basic sense systems with which people are born, I believe that emotion provides a way of knowing about oneself, other people, and the world.
情緒是emotion。心理學家Carl Pickhardt說，就像其他與生俱來的基本感官系統一樣，emotion讓我們了解自己、別人和身邊的世界。
Just as sight provides visual sensitivity, touch provides tactile sensitivity, and hearing provides auditory sensitivity, emotion provides affective sensitivity.
關鍵字是sensitivity(敏感度、感受性)。Visual解視覺的，tactile是觸覺的，auditory就是聽覺的。這些是眼睛、皮膚和耳朵給我們的sensitivity，而emotions給我們的是affective sensitivity(感受感情的能力)。
情緒三大功用
我們每分每秒都在感受不同情緒，也會努力去應付負面情緒，但卻很少仔細分析每種情緒背後的意義和用處。
All feelings are informative(具教育性的、提供資訊的), but each responds to a different aspect of our experience.
每種不同情緒都給我們不同的有用資訊。Carl Pickhardt這樣分析：
For example, grief(悲傷) often registers loss, fear warns of danger, anger identifies violation(受侵犯), jealousy(妒忌) suspects threat, frustration responds to blockage(阻礙), attraction shows interest, joy celebrates fulfillment(滿足), love affirms attachment, and hope anticipates positive possibilities.
從總體角度來看，情緒有三大功用：
Consider emotion as an affective awareness system(感情上的認知系統) that serves three powerful functions: It sensitizes us to what is going on with ourselves. It allows us to empathize(同情) with what is going on with others. And it can motivate(激發) us to action when need arises.
改善親子關係
父母都專注教導子女提高他們的情緒商數，但原來在親子關係上，父母也要留意自己的emotions。
Emotions can clarify(使清楚) what is really going on. For example, a parent who has been puzzled(狐疑) by her growing resentment(憤概) toward her middle school son for wanting to be with his friends all the time reflects on her feelings and discovers that what is really at issue is her sense of loneliness from loss.
Carl Pickhardt的Stop the Screaming: How to Turn Angry Conflict With Your Child into Positive Communication教父母了解負面情緒，將它化為與孩子改善關係的力量。
文︰子慧
