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Stinky laundry和crusty plates教孩子負責任
( 2012-12-07 )



      香港很多家庭都僱用菲律賓女傭,並非父母不想做家務,而是兩人都要外出工作,日間需要有人照顧孩子。
      孩子小時候,當然起居飲食一切都要人照顧,但家中有傭人的問題是,孩子漸漸長大應開始分擔家務時,他們卻不願負上這個責任。
“姐姐,would you get me a glass of water?”“姐姐,where is my pencil case?”“姐姐,can you get my shoes?”有菲傭的家庭經常可聽到孩子事事叫domestic helper(家傭)代勞。不少家長都為這種情況頭痛,但用了各種辦法,賞、罰、講道理,情況都不能改善。


      父母“罷工”
      要求孩子出一分力,開始時他們或許樂意幫忙,甚至可能覺得洗碗、掃地、吸塵好玩,因為從來沒有試過,但過了一段短時間,他們又會故態復萌,吃完飯便躲在房間裏,問他們為何停止幫忙抹、洗碗,他們就會推搪說功課忙。
      加拿大阿爾伯塔省有位母親終於找到一個有效辦法教導子女幫忙做家務,結果相當成功。這位母親還把經驗寫blog。
      辦法很簡單,就是go on strike(罷工)。報章這樣報道:
      Mom Jessica Stilwell let the crusty(沾有干了食物汁的) dinner plates pile up in the kitchen and left the stinky laundry(發臭的衣物) scattered on the floor to teach her messy(東西亂放的) kids a lesson. After six days, she declared victory in her "mommy strike" and gained worldwide attention for her comical(詼諧的) blog detailing the struggle.
      三十七歲的Jessica,是一位社工。她的experimental parenting(實驗性的教導法),引來很多家長評論和支持,有電視台還邀請她上節目分享經驗。
      不過,要實行這個辦法也有點難度,首先是要控制自己,碗碟堆得多高,家中有多亂,也不要動手清潔;第二就是要硬起心腸,看到子女哭哭啼啼也不要讓步。行動是這樣的:
      The couple cleaned up each plate and fork they used for themselves but left the girls' dirty dishes untouched(未觸動過的). Stilwell wrote that the plates slowly stacked(疊起) on top of each other like a gross game.
      Jessica有三個女兒,十二歲的雙生女Olivia和Peyton,及十歲的Quinn。她和丈夫飯後只洗自己用的碗筷,女兒們用的碗筷和碟子則任由它們在洗滌槽內越堆越高,即使帶上學的午餐袋也不替她們清潔。結果當然是令人反胃(gross)。
      Mould(黴菌) and fruit flies(果蠅) gathered. One pet dog licked clean the dishes that made it into the dishwasher when the door was left open. She also posted photos of the mess, including one of another pet that got stuck in a backpack as the pooch(雜種狗) tried to get at a rotting(腐爛的) school lunchbag.
      午餐袋不干淨,Jessica就用dog pooh bags(拾狗糞的膠袋)盛載孩子的午餐。到了第四天,厶女首先“崩塌”。Jessica在博客寫道:
      "My little love broke down in the kitchen tonight as she was trying to rinse(沖洗) a glass to use and began to cry. Through her sobs she said, 'I don't wanna eat out of pooh bags anymore. I don't want paper plates or beer cups for breakfast. Can you please help me clean up?'"
      但還要再過兩天幾個女兒才全面投降,明白自己每天製造多少工作給父母。她們向爸媽道歉,然後幫忙收拾屋子。這樣的辦法對於某些父母可能太“辣”。Richard和Linda Eyre的Teaching Your Children Responsibility提供其他方法教家長培養孩子的責任感。