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差勁的Excuse把孩子Execute了
( 2012-09-07 )





      Excuse用作名詞解借口。別人遲到,你問︰"What is your excuse this time?"(“你今次又有什麼借口?”)就是表示不滿。
      Excuse也作動詞,解原諒。但很多時都用作禮貌說話。例如房間裏很多人,你想別人讓開,就可以說:"Would you excuse me please?" 
      我們不想聽別人的excuses,但自己卻少不免不時都要找excuse。最常見的情況是遲到,真正原因大概都是自己遲了出門,卻偏說路上遇到交通阻塞、或臨出門被老闆拉開會等。
      你說的是excuse,對方怎會不知,但若你有為遲到表示歉意,那對方通常都會“收貨”,除非你習慣遲到,那就算今次是說真話也沒有人相信。
      借口人人都會說,但有些卻說得特別差。Tracey Turner在The Book of Big Excuses - Excuses for every occasion ...中便列出一些例子,叫人信也難。
      其中一些是家長寫給學校為孩子請假的便條:
      Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
      Jennifer昨天缺課,竟然是因為爸爸媽媽在星期一才撿起星期日的報紙,以為是星期日。以這樣的原因作為借口都算離譜,如果是實情,那就更離譜。
      髖關節被misplaced?
      再看這一條:
      Please excuse Jason from school today as he misplaced his trousers.
      Misplace解錯放了地方,即找不到。這應該是一所要穿校服的學校,但為什麼孩子只有一條校服褲就耐人尋味?
      有家長則誤用misplace這個字。
      Please excuse Ronald from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
      孩子爬樹時跌下來傷了髖關節(hip)不能上體育課也是正常的,但髖關節怎樣可以被misplaced(誤置)便不得而知了。家長的意思應該是"dislocated his hip joint"(他的髖關節脫位)。
      My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
      兒子有病,所以不能上體育課,那情有可原,但為什麼叫學校把他處死呢?這自然是家長忙中有錯,把excuse(原諒)寫作execute(處死)。
      “打針”變“開槍”
      另一個“異曲同工”的便條這樣寫:
      Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
      這裏的"had her shot"解開槍打她。這位家長大概想說,女兒Lisa病倒了,父母要求醫生為她打針。“打針”應該是give a shot,所以"we have asked the doctor to give her a shot."才是正確寫法。
      雖然做錯事找借口不對,但也是人之常情。不過,就算找借口起碼也要經大腦。The Book of Big Excuses也教人找借口的方法。

      文︰子慧