Wallflower是壁花，"a person who, because of shyness, unpopularity, or lack of a partner, remains at the side at a party or dance"(一個因為害羞、不受歡迎，或沒有舞伴，在舞會中獨坐一角的人)。
　　這個字也指"any person, organization, etc., that remains on or has been forced to the sidelines of any activity"(在一些場合或活動中備受冷落、忽視的人或機構等)。Forced to the sidelines就是被迫靠邊站。
　　普遍的想法是︰家中最大和最小的孩子都受到重視，而middle children(在中間的孩子)卻被冷落，故middle children被認為是wallflowers。
　　We all know the stereotype(典型): middle children are wallflowers, overshadowed(相形見絀、被遮蓋) by their siblings and neglected by their parents, and they turn into resentful(憤憤不平的), bitter(心懷怨恨的) adults.
　　事實是這樣嗎？"But if that is true, why are so many middle children throughout history - from Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump and Madonna - wildly successful."有人就會問︰若middle children都是苦情戲主角，只知道自怨自艾，為何很多非常成功的人都是middle children？

　　懂討價還價富創意
　　當然，指出三幾個middle children的成功例子不足以反駁對middle children的典型看法，但有學術研究發現，中間的孩子果然有獨特的優點：
　　A new book, "The Secret Power of Middle Children: How Middleborns Can Harness Their Unexpected and Remarkable Abilities", argues that the intense parental attention aimed at first- and lastborns can leave those middle kids better at negotiating, compromising and thinking creatively.
　　這個理論的中心點是，正因為父母都把注意力放在老大和老身上，中間的孩子會學懂討價還價、妥協和創意思維。書的其中一位作者、加州University of Redlands的心理學副教授Catherine Salmon解釋：
　　"Middleborns(中間的孩子) have the benefit of being the somewhat overlooked children, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially when the opposite is the overly coddled(過度的嬌養) version."

　　勿逆來順受知進退
　　在這個研究中，但凡不是兄弟姊妹中排第一或最尾的都是middleborns或middle children。原來萬千寵愛在一身也有它的壞處。老大或老一出生在父母心中已有清晰的定位，當然也不能用“自生自滅”來形容middle children，但他們就需要為自己的角色爭取。
那好處呢？
　　"It makes them very resilient(復元力高) adults who tend to think outside the box," says Salmon. "They're more willing to take that leap of faith(憑信心踏出去) and believe in things that are somewhat unproven. A different way of thinking and a willingness to entertain crazy ideas often leads to innovation(新發明)."
　　不過，中間的孩子須留意，因為習慣被老大指指點點而變得過分逆來順受，容易在人際或感情關係上被人佔便宜。因此，若對方太過分，就應懂得如何拂袖而去。
　　懂得compromise(妥協)是好的，但不應過分避免衝突，也別太安分守紀，"You are moderate(隨和) and well-balanced(面面兼顧) by nature, so don't be afraid to rock the boat(攪局) once in a while."文︰子慧