因不愛男人而離婚，就和因愛男人而結婚一樣愚蠢。（婚姻是愛的墳墓。離了婚豈不是死無葬身之地？）
     Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

      很少婚姻能夠比家用電器保修期長的。（尤其是現在還有保修延長期呢。）
      Few marriages outlast the appliance warranties.

      婚姻就像通宵營業的便利店。品種花樣不多，可是在凌晨三點，它還是開門營業。（在那個時候誰都不會太挑剔的！）
      Marriage is like a 24-hour convenience store. Not much variety but at 3 a.m., it's always there.

      婚姻是一個奇跡，它把一個吻從愉悅變成責任，讓生活從奢華變成勤儉。
      Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty, and a life from luxury into necessity. 


      婚姻：梳妝櫃上女人的頭髮套和男人的老花鏡纏在一起。（這才是真愛呢！）
      Marriage: a woman's hair net tangled in a man's spectacles on top of the bedroom dresser.

      婚姻：開頭和結尾都挺棒的。中間部分活見鬼。
      Marriage: The beginning and end are wonderful. The middle part is hell.

      所有婚姻都是幸福的。只是婚後一起生活才有麻煩。
      All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterwards that causes the trouble.

      如果你想犧牲眾多男人的崇拜換來一個男人的吹毛求疵，就去結婚吧。
      If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead and get married.

      男人吃到的最危險的食品是結婚蛋糕。
      The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake.

      現如今，女孩子婚前不幹的事就是做飯。（該做的不會做。不該做的卻經驗老到。）
      The only premarital thing girls don't do these days is cooking.

      許多男人因喜歡一個酒窩就娶回整個女孩，遂鑄成大錯。（就象?了喝牛奶而養一條牛一樣.） 
      Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

      當你的老婆把結婚戒指戴在中指上的時候，你就知道你們的婚姻出現麻煩了。 
      You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife start wearing the wedding ring on her middle finger.

      他老婆甩掉205磅贅肉------她和他離了婚。甩掉包袱輕裝上陣。 
      His wife got rid of 205 pounds of ugly fat-------she divorced him.

      我結婚太多次了，現在結婚證上姓名欄上寫的是：有關人士。（省得以後老要領結婚證。） 
      I have been married for so many times my marriage certificate now reads: "To Whom It May Concern."

      對一些男人來說，結婚就像下館子。你點的菜如法炮製端上來了，但你一看到鄰座上的菜，你尋思剛才應該點這些才是。（老婆是別人的好。出處在此。） 
      To some men marriage is a bit like being in a restaurant. You get exactly what you asked for------but as soon as you see what the fellow on the next table has got you wish you had ordered that instead.

      以前，女孩子結婚是?了錢。現在，她們離婚的原因也一樣。（法律太偏袒女人了吧？） 
      In the old days, a girl married a guy for his money. Now, she divorces him for the same reason.